The Queen is back! I honestly promised myself that I was not going to use that while writing this post because I do not want to jinx it, but I could not help it. This feels really good, and I am so happy that I am doing what I enjoy after a longgggggg while. I do not even have an elaborate excuse for disappearing, I was just drowning in work (as usual- it is not a tenable excuse anymore lol), and making excuses for myself as to why I could not keep up. I do not have it all figured out yet, but I am definitely figuring it out!
Hello beautiful people, I am excited that you are here, reading this, in this moment. It is always the best feeling when someone makes reference to something they have seen on my blog- I always get all giddy with excitement, so thank you!
I turned the big 20 while I was away! You can finally welcome me into actual adulthood as I have discovered that turning 18 in a Nigerian household is a sham, maybe they will finally take me seriously now that I have “2 in front of my age” (as I like to call it). I like birthdays a lot and I was looking forward to turning 20 because I am officially in my twenties- that is a whole new decade. A lot of life changes will be happening in this decade and it suddenly does not feel so far anymore.
A while ago, I remember sharing about how I had felt like I was under-achieving because I thought that I had not done anything “big” in recent times. I was able to realize how that was such a negative thing and helped myself at that point by practising reaffirmation and I just did not think that I would be feeling that way anytime soon. I recently ran for a post during my school elections (I should definitely share about that in the coming weeks- not going to jinx it lol), and it was just a feast of the worst thoughts. A lot of times I felt very inadequate and in the theory of things, I was quite sure that I was not any of those things- I just did not feel that way sometimes. Fast forward to a few weeks later, I won the election and still had all of those feelings. My friend told me I had Impostor Syndrome and she explained it and I just realized that I was not allowing myself to enjoy things and sharing how I was feeling at that point in time was one of the best things that had happened in weeks.
A lot of people actually experience this daily, you constantly think “what if people find out that I am not as good as they think I am?”. Well, I think you are that good, and it is important you think that too because you cannot exude confidence if you do not believe you can do the damn thing! Sometimes, all you need is a little nudge from a friend or your parents or just anyone really, that is why anytime I feel that way, I would most likely share it with a friend because sometimes I need to be reminded because I get coconut head and I no dey hear word. It is also really important that you can reaffirm these things by yourself, you learn better by relearning and you should consistently teach yourself to trust in your capabilities and the fact that you are that good!
You got to the end, yaayyy! The pictures are supposed to be side attractions (you’re welcome). Thank you for having a read, I’m grateful and you deserve poundssss and doillarsssss😁 (especially now with the increase in the exchange rate). I hope you enjoy the rest of your week- looking forward to Friday like you!
I am typing this last line with Feel Good by MohBad (which is such a jam) on repeat reminding myself that we (referring to my alter ego and I) are definitely feeling good all week long!
My name is Toyosi Adeniran (actually “Adeniran Ifeoluwatoyosi Abigail” which is quite long lol ) and just call me “TheToyosiAdeniran” because I feel like the ‘the’ gives it this catch and makes it seem like it’s just one name. You know the way some people say they are something by day and another thing by night, well I am a medical student everyday (both day and night). I am also an aspiring public speaker and very passionate about people knowing their rights and having those rights protected. And above all, I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me.