I finally am writing again. I was away for a long time because I was preparing for my first professional exams, which I would talk about at some point in this post. A part of me missed doing this but in all honesty, there were mostly times I did not remember that I could do this just because of the sheer volume of work that I was drowning in. I graduated while I was away and I passed a couple of examinations too (sabi girl- I know, I know).
After thinking of what I wanted to do, I decided to ask some of my people to share their MB stories because I realized that although there was a lot of common ground in the way we handled the exam and the period leading up to it, there were also a lot of things peculiar to each person. Take your time and enjoy the perspectives from different people plus you’ll be looking at a couple of fine faces as you progress.
I do not know what my introduction is supposed to be, but MB was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I cried the most this year during this exam, I cried every morning of the exam.
To be honest, at some point, I already gave up and chose to concentrate on two courses and resit the third one (physiology) but one random day, I woke up around 4am, 12th October and had this urge to pray and I don’t know if it was God that told me to be honest (I guess) but I got a message that I should relax because I had already passed the exam. Lol?, me that didn’t know common counter current mechanism wan pass, I wan steal am?
I definitely had peace throughout this exam but sometimes, my anxiety got the best of me and after crying my eyes out, I was ready to move again like the bad bitch that I am, purr.
My biggest fear was having people say “all she knows is makeup. Beauty without brains”. It wasn’t even to fulfill myself or to make anyone proud to be honest. I’ve had people doubt me when I say I’m in medical school just because I’m who I am ( I don’t know who I am?). So I wasn’t going to embarrass myself. Another fear was my friends passing the exam and leaving me behind. God forbid.
You get my joy when my babes and the hoes checked the results and saw that we passed, I was overjoyed and confused. I didn’t even know what to do first. But I remembered that, the song that came to my mind that 4am night was Nathaniel Bassey’s SEE WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE” and I started to sing because I didn’t even know what to do or say to anyone.
One thing I thank God for during this time was the people around me, I cannot even begin to mention names but I am blessed with people and I appreciate everyone of them. From the calls and texts, to the food, the stuff they taught me and the ones I catch reading even after we agreed to rest for the night and I had to carry my book to get something too.
Definitely, I had to extra stretch myself and although I didn’t like that but looking at the results, I’ll definitely do it again.
This is probably seven million words already, but tbh, I don’t know how to summarise it.
The idea of writing MB has been scary to me for as long as I can remember. Being in 200 level, 300 level, it felt like it was an eternity away. Suddenly, it was 2 months away.
I wanted to be prepared so I tried asking for advice and drafting a reading plan. Guess what?
It didn’t work!
The intense revision classes, mounting pressure and high emotions were enough to offset the plan.
Through it all, God and my support system played integral roles. I expected good news and I’m glad good news came through.
MB was a big deal but my God is bigger.
How was MB for me?
Honestly speaking, I had a better time preparing for MB than comprehensive. Nothing literally beats comprehensive stress lol and I guess also, capacity also had been built over time so MB stress was a lot easier to manage.
Emotionally, I was a wreck. All the worst possible things that could happen to a person externally, was happening to me. From dealing with loss that period to getting some news that made me numb (won’t go into details lol). I had to shut off my emotions for a very long period of time. I didn’t have time to process anything, I didn’t have time to feel anything, I just knew I had to be numb, I had to be “strong”. Over the years I’ve developed the ability to keep up appearances but this time I had to bring my discovered ability into full flesh.
Did I ever have the feeling or fear that I would fail? No. The greater one dwells in me now but, there were expectations! This year, I put myself out there a lot in certain communities, so people were eager to see my results. Also, I was academic director for BAMS. Now no academic director since I’d been In Bowen had failed their MB I, so I already had standards to meet up to. So, imagine how catastrophic that would’ve been that the person the people elected to be in charge of academic activities failed MB I. Hmm, I’m so glad it wasn’t so.
I taught a lot in the Christian sector of Bowen this year. I also taught about how God is interested in your success in all spheres of life. So, imagine if I didn’t pass, once again I say “hmm”, I’m so glad it wasn’t so.
I remember few minutes after I got the result, the chaplain’s wife gave me a call to ask for my result and thank God it was fine.
This is to say there were expectations, so sometimes those expectations would come to haunt me, but I’d shrug them off with positive reaffirmations, confessions and prayers.
I never broke down once during this MB period, no tears, no downcast countenance, because from the beginning of the year, I knew I was there for war? it was either I passed or I passed, no in betweens. Also, since I had to be numb because of series of events that occurred, I paid particular attention to not feeling anything that I may have wanted to feel.
Honestly, God was my strength. I remember getting to law by 8am everyday and not leaving till 7:30pm, also attending group meetings. Then, revision classes started and that would take the entire day lol, meaning I’d have to read from 12am -6:30am almost everyday and wake up by 7:30 to prepare for 9am class which would last till 4pm and still go for group meetings, then come back to hostel to read, goodness me! I used to watch film as an escape also sha lol. Community also helped a lot, knowing that you have people who are going through the same issue and still fighting hard would give you ginger to keep on the good fight.
When I think back, all I know is that prayers sustained me and would continue to sustain me throughout the rest of my journey. Amen!
So I am suppose to write about my MB experience. The preparation leading to the exam was a crazy one, sleepless nights, energy drinks, lamentations, tears, laughter, I felt it all.
Concerning my fears leading to the exam, I was afraid of any sickness that will hinder me from writing the exam, I had the fear that I might not do as best as I wanted to.
Well, the exam was a success, I thank God for the result. In retrospect, I smile about all the craziness leading up to the exam, I could say the end justified the journey.
God is everything!
Discipline is everything!
Community is everything!
You can’t read everything on your own even if you are given two months, I couldn’t. Group discussions, someone’s summarized version of an AOC or jottings will definitely go a long way to helping your path to success. It did for me.
I dare say, you would be foolish to do an exam of this magnitude on your own. Thank God I wasn’t foolish.
It was a period of a lot of poke nosing, asking questions even when i might look or sound dumb just to get it right, ranting with or to someone about your progress and complaints and a lot of midnight snacks. My abdomen now is testament to the last.
Also, Learning how to de-stress successfully is everything because you’d be 101% tired all the time. Sleeping, crying, eating, watching movies or series could be it for you, it was for me.
GOD WAS AND IS EVERYTHING. No other words for that.
Now that results are out, it’s not only relief I feel but courage and motivation to carry on and do even better.
MB was the absolute trenches man. You don’t know the pain of getting to class and seeing that you know nothing about the topic you spent the entire night reading. Having to Function on energy drinks and 2 hours of sleep is no way to live but you don’t have a choice. It was a literal do or die. We thank God for testimony.
How was MB for me?
I’m an overthinker with a serious case of impostor syndrome. This means that I tend to make a big deal out of little situations and I doubt myself, no matter how much effort I make.
First of all, MB is not for the weak. Everybody that has written that exam is a champ, regardless of the outcome. The stress takes such a toll on your mental health. I constantly found myself crying almost everyday during MB prep. There were days I would go for study group meeting and I would literally choke from tears and my vision would be blurry because I’d have felt like I had read a particular system but Olayiwola would teach it again and my head is like “you never read anyfin”.
It’s funny now but then, omo. There were days that I couldn’t see so far ahead and I genuinely wanted to drink dettol and end it. I was tired. I was worn out. At a point, I felt helpless.
I remember that I read renal in the earlier days of MB prep so in my mind there was no lecturer that could try me. Let them bring him from Harvard sef, I dey gallant. That’s how Professor Akomolafe came to class and started talking about glomerular filtration rate. It was like my cerebrum switched off in that class. I couldn’t understand where he got these things from. I remember leaving the class he taught concentration of urine to my hostel and I wept bitterly because genuinely, who send me?
During the actual exam period, “oju mi ri” (my eyes saw). Is it physiology that I only successfully completed two questions out of nine and I had claw hand after the exam or biochemistry where Dr Uwah asked for glycogen storage diseases and the only thing my brain could tell me to write was diabetes mellitus?
During anatomy steeple chase, the neuro questions had me laughing at myself. I was lost for words. All the claustrum, olives and superior and inferior colliculi I learnt was for what?
I didn’t go for my convocation because I was so scared of this exam. The fear was crippling.
Thank God that phase of my life is over. Thank God for support system too because I for don actually kill myself. But it is well.
We go again in 2024.
MB- the exam I thought was years away that suddenly arrived at my door step in minutes. For me it was a lot but I didn’t get my breakdowns during the preparations for the exams I got it about 2 months before because the year was a lot and it was never ending it was one thing after the other so this caused me to be a nervous wreck way before the exams arrived, I couldn’t sleep well and I started stress eating people just thought I was gaining weight because of enjoyment but I was trying to be fine and I was gradually looking like my problems.
My experiences during this exam were heart breaking and beautiful at the same time I was taught truly in this exam that it’s only God who has your back asides from yourself and that’s enough and also the fact that i had a lot of people praying for me made me realise that I’m not alone. My fear was just not making it after the hardwork I put over the years. I was expecting at least 2 distinctions but I got one and I’m super grateful for it. Ultimately, I felt good and really proud of myself. One really important thing I learnt from this mb that I will forever keep in my heart is that when you’re reading for exams that constant need to ask other people how much they’ve read just to make yourself feel like you’re doing something is not worth it do your best and leave comparison because most times it leaves you feeling like a failure.
MB was something, really. I don’t think I can forget the sleepless nights, crying sessions lmao, times when I’m like “abeg, I can’t kill myself” and actually go to sleep only to wake up and regret that I did and times when I’d attend a class or a meeting and be like, “what have I actually been studying please?”. However, I believe that God gave me the right study and seat partners, strengthened me, gave me His peace and reminded me of His promises and that He’s always close. I’m grateful for the result of the exam, the friends I made during the exam period and the many lessons learnt.
TOYOSI (myself, obviously.)
I am trying hard not to cross the line between my MB and the end of my preclinical years, I want a whole post dedicated to that and this is such a long one already.
Two things that sum up my MB- God and community.
My community showed up ostentatiously- that is a perfect way to put it. Writing this exam was not the easiest thing but it was definitely bearable because of the wealth of people I had around me, people that God had placed.
I learnt how important it is to be when explicit when speaking to God. We prayed as a class one day and I remember Mofe telling us to explicitly ask God for what we wanted in our results. I was going to ask for two distinctions but a part of me felt it was unrealistic, I doubted and I changed my prayer point to “at least one distinction”. I ended up having one and realizing how close I came to having two hurt me so much but I am still very grateful to God for an answered prayer even when I underestimated His capabilities.
I have learnt now to ask God for the things that are seemingly audacious and best believe that we go hard in 2024!
This is probably the longest one ever but thank you for making it to the end. I really hope you’re all “dettying your dizembaz”, please post everywhere, I’m living through your stories. Now that I have electronic gadgets again, I hope to be better, I realized that work is not going to ever go away and I should rather be the one learning to be better. What have I been up to? – the World cup and enjoying my life before I resume in January.
Love, love, love you and till next time!
My name is Toyosi Adeniran (actually “Adeniran Ifeoluwatoyosi Abigail” which is quite long lol ) and just call me “TheToyosiAdeniran” because I feel like the ‘the’ gives it this catch and makes it seem like it’s just one name. You know the way some people say they are something by day and another thing by night, well I am a medical student everyday (both day and night). I am also an aspiring public speaker and very passionate about people knowing their rights and having those rights protected. And above all, I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me.
I’m glad God came through for you?❤️.I await success too?